If My Instagram Had #nofilter

7:16am — A panic-faced selfie induced by jolting awake thinking it was 7:58am and I’d have to get ready for work in two minutes. Captioned: #nomakeup #freshface #iwokeuplykdiz

13 likes solely due to the last hashtag.

8:47am — Picture of my Starbucks Caramel Apple Spice held out with snow covered streets in the background. Complete with a few on-lookers, shaking their heads.

44 likes. B***hes love coffee.

9:53am — A photo of the P.F. Chang’s horse covered in snow hastily taken while I was ice skating past it. Captioned: #yearofthehorse #seewhatididthere #punny

Okay I really posted this. So far 2 5 6 10 14 16 22 36 likes. Cause it really is punny.

11:23am — Shot of a third of my computer screen and my view of the center’s front door. Black & white and plenty of fade so it looks artsy.

11 likes; 2 from my middle school campers who like literally everything.

12:48pm — Another selfie. Uncropped profile shot of my face slammed down on my keyboard. Fiddle with VSCO for twenty minutes so it looks just right.

27 likes. All worried about my sanity.

2:11pm — Aerial picture of my lunch. Perfectly positioned. Taken on the floor with warm colors for that rustic appeal.

24 likes. Three comments about my OCD.

4:56pm — Shot of the treeline with the sun setting behind creating a beautiful gradient of orange, red, pink, and purple. Saturation increased, high exposure, blue shadows so it looks way more picturesque than it actually is. Throw in a caption about the weather.


5:12pm — A picture of my outfit shot from above as I stand in my room. Captioned: #ootd

37 likes. String of comments about where my shoes are from.

6:04pm — Photo of my puppy. Caption: #kaiacam

64 likes. One comment from a friend who has been living under a rock: “Omg so cute!”

6:43pm — Another photo of my puppy. Playing outside. Caption: #kaiacam

52 likes. Guess people are getting tired of her…

7:19pm — Yet another picture of my puppy.

20 likes. Several comments about the puppy spam and how I’ve turned into a delusional dog lady.

10:58pm — Shot of my feet up and the TV in the background playing an episode of “House Hunters” I’ve already seen. Willow filter because I’m too lazy to put effort into it.

14 likes. People are tired of my antics.


2 thoughts on “If My Instagram Had #nofilter

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